Good Flirty One Liners. You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line. Your name must be Coca-Cola because you're so-da-licious. You must be peanut butter because you're making my legs feel like jelly. Forget hydrogen, you're my number one element. Me without you is like a nerd without braces.I don't harbor any resentment toward you, and I hope you didn't make the same mistake I made when I chose to share my life with him. Whatever choice you make, I hope you too will find happiness ...18. My boyfriend must be a magician, every time he looks at me my clothes disappear. 19. Something is wrong with my knees, every time I am with you; I fall for you all over again. 20. I am an organ donor for sure; I gave my heart to you 2 years ago. Flirty jokes for boyfriend. 21.Dirty Jokes To Say To Your Boyfriend Gilbert Gottfried Dirty Jokes Every Man Should Know Doogie Horner,2009-09-01 The ultimate collection of racy, ribald, and downright hilarious humor that makes a great gift! This pocket-sized compendium of the crude and coarse contains all the jokes a man needs to crack wise.This tastes a little funny. Funny flirty texts: 6. Please can you stop wandering through my mind, you Speedy Gonzales. 7. I think GOD created you on Sunday and added more honey than needed. 8. Wanted to ask if you are a coach, since you make my heart JUMP 😛. 9.Alternatively, text it to your boyfriend when you are apart. His heart will melt away instantly. Call me a thief ’cause I want to steal your heart. Show your flirty side with this super-cheesy line. Nobody is going to judge you. We promise. I would say God Bless you, but it looks like you are plenty blessed already.Keep one, drop one. Jokes - Dirty, Funny, Punny and all. Ok we need to lighten up the mood on talk. Let's share some jokes and stories, I will go first. I got the scoop on where candy bars came from and I would like to share the story. Here is the "Birth of a Candy Bar" One day "Mr. Goodbar" was looking for a "Bit o Honey" so he took "Miss ...Here are 13 Valentine’s Day dirty pick up lines: “Cards aren’t the only things that will be opened tonight.”. “I’m sorry I didn’t get you chocolates for Valentine’s Day…but if you want something sweet, then I’m right here.”. “If I had a garden, I’d put your tulips and my tulips together.”.69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell. - 23 Mar 2022. Sense of Humor. Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults.Mar 12, 2023 · Whether you’re looking to make your guy friend (or boyfriend!) blush, giggle, or just downright uncomfortable, we’ve got you covered. You will find here over 100 jokes for him. So buckle up and get ready for some raunchy one-liners and cheeky puns that will leave you in stitches (and maybe a little hot under the collar).We have the 20 best funny love quotes for him (that are bound to make your boyfriend laugh again after a fight). 1. "I promise to always be by your side. Or under you. Or on top." — Joe King ...I'd love to kiss your luscious lips…and then the ones on your face. I'm a tortilla, I want you to flip me over and eat me out. That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be ...The dating process can be ridiculous, even hilarious. So, why not have a laugh? Knowing how to tell a good joke, no matter how cheesy, can put a smile on almost anyone’s face. From corny pick up lines to punny knock knock jokes, keep reading to learn the funniest dating jokes sure to get a laugh (or at least a cheeky grin)!The 40 Very Best Dirty Jokes For Him . ACTIVITIES; The 73 Best Brain Teasers . LIFE; 70 Cute Things To Say To Your Boyfriend . PONLY.COM [email protected] Facebook Instagram.Girlfriend: "If you were my husband, I would poison your drink". Boyfriend: "If you were my wife, I would drink it!" Boyfriend: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Girlfriend: "Actually life is short, just like your dick." Boyfriend: Amazing world, only 25% boys have common sense, very short figure!I hope your day is as wonderful as you are. XO. Good morning handsome, I had the best dream last night, but my reality with you is so much better. Have a great day, I love you! 😘. This morning I woke up and realized that there are 3 things in my life that make me the happiest: To see you, to hold you, and to kiss you.Le's be freaky…. 1. When we're apart, I can't help but think one of us is in the wrong place. 2. I've had a rough day; give me a rough night. 3. It's about time to try out the new position you were talking about. 4.Draw a sheep: I love ewe. Draw some fruit: I love you berry much. Draw a frog: I'm hoppy you're mine. Draw an otter: I'm glad you're my significant otter. Draw an owl: I'll owl-ways love ...Keep us giggling! May your birthday be filled with laughter, dirty jokes, and a dash of mischief. Happy birthday! Wishing a happy birthday to the guy who always has a dirty joke up his sleeve. Keep us entertained! Happy birthday to the king of dirty jokes! May your day be filled with laughter and endless humor.The 21 Best Sexting Messages to Send Your Boyfriend: Flirty to Dirty. How To Turn Him On - 35 Things to Do When He's Naked. 70+ Amazing Goodnight Texts (And How They Work To Melt His Heart) 85 Sexy Dirty Talk Phrases Guaranteed to Make Him Ridiculously Turned On. Exactly How To Talk Dirty And Turn Him On Without Feeling Embarrassed. Dirty ...Spitting, swallowing and gargling. A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, “Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?”. The boyfriend says, “Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again.”. A naked man broke into a church.I want to Squirtle all over your Jigglypuffs. Copy This. I will be your Pokemon if you let me Pikachu. Copy This. I wish I was a Magikarp, so I could use SPLASH on you! Copy This. I wish I was a Seaking, so I could HORN DRILL you. Copy This. I wish I was an Abra, so I could TELEPORT to your bedroom.I need you all my life. You are the best for me. 2. Your face is so cute that I can't even resist it for any reason. You are the most beloved angel of my life. I love you so much. 3. I need you to understand that you are so cute and irresistible, charming pure love, I wish you the best in this world. 4.Copy and paste upside-down text. Make him think something's wrong with his phone. Start a normal text conversation with your boyfriend. Once you've been texting for a few minutes, plug your next text into a text flipping app, copy and paste, and then send the upside-down message to him.It is, indeed. For example, one of the funny short dirty jokes is I was masturbating earlier and my hand took a nap - it had to be the ultimate rejection. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.The bad news is, I’ve been disposing of my son’s dirty, germy tissues wrong for the whole first half of his childhood. The good news is, some things are about to change around here...When it comes to making people laugh, having a repertoire of good jokes can be a valuable asset. Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood at a social gathering or add some humor ...1. Complement and be funny at the same time. Pick-up lines are all about making your partner feel special, so they know you like them. So, if your pick-up line is funny, make sure you don't end up roasting them. Choose something that flaunts your sense of humor and flirting skills at the same time.How about sharing dirty jokes with your boyfriend? And who knows, you might end up having a sexy time with him! To help you with that, I have created some of …Hilarious Flirty Jokes. I’m sorry, but I fear that you could soon be asked to leave. I wouldn’t blame them, either. Have a look at how much stunning you are, I mean. Everyone else is suffering because of you. This is one of the strangest and most hilarious flirty jokes. Boy: I’d really like to get into your pants.You'll make sure he feels adored 24/7 and has a shoulder to lean on. [2] Say something like: "Reach out whenever you need, babe. ️ I'm always here for you.". "After 6 PM, I'm free all evening. 😚 I'll pick up as soon as you call.". "Remember, you're not alone. 💕 I'm just a text away.". 2.Take a look at our whole list of loving texts for him. 1. I definitely have become a better person because of you. So, thanks. <3. 2. I had a dream about you last night. 3. You honestly make me laugh harder than I’ve ever laughed before. 4.Express how much your boyfriend means to you by using a clever analogy. “I love you so much, I’d let you have the last slice of pizza…most of the time.”. Show your love and willingness to share, even if it means sacrificing the last slice of pizza occasionally.Relationship jokes about love. Here are some cute love jokes that would be perfect for your relationships! You should be a welder! When we’re together, sparks fly! Good thing you’re not a pastry chef. You might dessert me! Darling, even if gravity didn’t exist, I’d still fall for you.Guys come up to me and say, 'Your voice reminds me of Barry White!'. I think to myself, 'That is hot! Deep voice, sexy.'. Then we get outside, and my friends tell me, 'The guy said Betty White.'. Hey, out of the four Golden Girls, I think I would rather be known as the living one!".1. Use wordplay: One of the key elements of a funny phone phrase is clever wordplay. Think of puns, double entendres, and other linguistic tricks to create phrases that are both dirty and hilarious. 2. Be unexpected: Surprise is often the key to a successful prank or joke.20. What rhymes with kick? Pick (dirty mind joke) 21. What do a good woman and a good bar have in common? Liquor in the front and poker in the back. 22. Dirty mind test: What starts with d and ends with ick? Drumstick.Butch, Jimmy, and Joe who? Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a big hot kiss, and let's Joe! 33. Knock Knock! Who's there? King Henry the Second. King Henry the Second who? King Henry, the second the queen leaves, we'll bring in the strippers! 34.Because I want you to disappear from my life.". "We're donion rings.". "Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.". And our personal favorite Dr Seuss breakup line: "I cannot deny, our love is no longer worth a try.". #4.The following are some of the most misunderstood dirty riddles of all time. For example, “Q: You slide your fingers across me first thing in the morning, you play with me before you go to bed, I live in your pants, I am always in the back of your mind, and you can’t live without me.Keith me, my love! 60. You are in my heart, my mind, and in my entire body. In fact, my doctor says that you must be a parasite! 61. My boyfriend and I met on the internet. My mother asked him what line he used on me and my boyfriend replied, “I just used a modem.”.You must have a black belt in rizz-fu, because you always sweep me off my feet. Cupid has nothing on you; your rizz arrows hit the bullseye every time. Be warned, falling for you is as easy as saying "rizz-tastic.". You've got the rizz-magic touch, turning an ordinary day into an extraordinary adventure.Fuck me like you own me. I love how hard you feel. I've been waiting for this all day. Don't stop. I love when you bend me over. I want you all the way inside me. I'm going to make you come ...Best Dirty Love Text Messages For Her. 21. I love the way you suck my d*ck. You have the perfect mouth, and I swear I’m not going for another girl except you. Your love is just too perfect for me. 22. You better not have any clothes on right now. I want you to touch yourself while you’re reading this. 23.Jun 28, 2021 · More Dirty Jokes. Masturbation always leads to sex. It’s a gateway tug. 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence. My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord. Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.But, you may not even realize how many people actually Google how to do this or look for dirty questions to ask a guy! When searching this, I wasn't really sure I would find questions that would be dirty or flirty enough but surprisingly, I found really great ones that blew my expectations. These are 69 (LOL) questions that really will get the ...Because Yoda only one for me! My boyfriend accidentally poked me in the eyes. So, I stopped seeing him for a while. Call me Shrek…. Because I’m head ogre heels for you! My boyfriend knows how understanding I am. That’s why he always calls me Miss Understanding. If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard!You just left, and I already miss you! First song on the radio, and it reminds me of you. I got you a one-way ticket…to my heart. You mentioned you like bed and breakfasts. I'll bring the bed ...Funny Jokes to Tell Your Girlfriend. 64. You are like dandruff because I just cannot get you out of my head no matter how hard I try. 65. You’re like a dictionary; you add meaning to my life. 66 ...Here is a line that will work as well on a crush as on your steady boyfriend. Say this to your partner if you have not complimented them in a while. After all, relationships are constant work. ... Cheesy pick-up lines or rizz jokes can be a fun way to start a conversation. And when used correctly, it can develop into something more. ...32. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. 33. The people who know me the least have the most to say. 3 4. I'm jealous of people who don't know you. 35. I'm sorry that my brutal honesty inconvenienced your ego. 36. You sound reasonable… Time to up my medication. 37.Ditch the generic questions asking if they've eaten or what they plan to do that day. You'd do a lot better if you used some of the best knock-knock jokes we have right here. They're the best flirty jokes because they're so unexpected and unique, and that's just what you need to get their attention. 1. Knock knock.A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right.