Here are 55 of the comic master’s most ingenious jokes and one-liners: “I’d like to start with the chimney jokes – I’ve got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.”. “I did a ...The topic for this week’s collection of puns and one liners is cat jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…. I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. He looks like a leopard now. Lost money playing poker with one of the big cats at the zoo. Think he was a cheetah. Went for dinner with the zoo animals the ...Eyeliner looks best when it’s applied with precision and stays put throughout the day. That probably explains why these eight pencil-style eyeliners reign supreme. Many of these po...Dive deep into our crispy one-liners and quotes, and get ready to chuckle! It helps if you know the different names of potatoes. Then you'll understand the punch lines and play on words better! This includes spud, tater, tuber, hash, yam, and plant. You never see King Charles or Madonna presenting sport on TV.Swimming pool liners are an essential component of any pool, as they protect the structure and ensure a clean and enjoyable swimming experience. However, over time, pool liners can...75 Paw-Some Bear Puns and Jokes That Are Wildly Funny. Kellye Fox. Sun, June 2, 2024, 12:10 PM EDT · 5 min read. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like a …A list of 47 Soap puns! Related Topics. SOAP: SOAP (formerly an acronym for Simple Object Access Protocol) is a messaging protocol specification for exchanging structured information in the implementation ...; Soap: Soap is a salt of a fatty acid used in a variety of cleansing and lubricating products.In a domestic setting, soaps are surfactants usually used for washing ...Paddy O’Furniture – a funny play on Irish names. Credit: Unsplash/ Priscilla Du Preez. Kicking off our list of funniest and best Irish one-liners is this hilarious play on words. Paddy, or Patrick, is a popular Irish name, and you won’t be hard-pushed to find an Irish person whose surname begins with ‘O’. 9.111 Funny Mermaid Puns and One-Liners June 4, 2021 February 17, 2021 | Sonja. Here you find my favorite mermaid puns and one-liners. I compiled a list of the best puns I found on the internet as well as my own ones. ... Where does a mermaid keep her money? A: In a river-bank. Q: What do you call a mermaid who likes to hunt small fish and sleeps ...Raffle Jokes. At a raffle. All got a bit complicated when they called out the winner's name. Some chap called Spartacus. I was reminded this week of an old joke about a raffle (it's the first one below), so what better a topic for a page of puns and one liners than raffle jokes. As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity or ...13. What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me.". 14. Why didn't the skeleton play football? His heart wasn't in it. 15. Why did the skeleton go to jail? Because he was bad to the bone.August 24, 2023 by Jokes Garage. Welcome to a world where wordplay meets spice - a realm where humor and the aromatic allure of ginger come together in perfect harmony. "Ginger Puns" takes you on a delightful exploration of linguistic creativity, where the zesty charm of ginger becomes the catalyst for witty and clever puns that are sure ...Jan 17, 2014 · Money Jokes. Pigeons must be wealthy. They have no problem putting deposits on expensive cars. The theme of this week’s one-liners and puns is money jokes, which come with the normal caveats of not to expect them to be either too funny or too original. I hope you enjoy them anyway….There is a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit." "My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light." "Why, her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves." Rodney Dangerfield ...Ironing Jokes. Read a book about a fictional character pressing clothes and putting them away. It's called "The Iron, The Witch and The Wardrobe". It was suggested to me that a good topic for this week's puns and one-liners would be ironing jokes, so here are a few gags on that theme. As normal, they may not come with originality or hilarity….All the places where I can get fuel are like family to me. They're my pump kin. This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Pump Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…. I remember when air pumps for car tyres used to be free, now they cost £1. The rising cost of inflation.17. "Some people need to learn the grains of bread puns, it's an acquired taste.". 18. "Bread puns are the ultimate slice of humor!". 19. "Bread makes everything butter, I can't be bread without it!". 20. "Life without bread is simply unloaf-able!". In conclusion, bread puns are this article's loaf language!Put your money where your mouth is. —Submitted by orthodontist Kami Hoss, DDS, co-founder of The Super Dentists, California ... pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles ...One cow says to the other, "I don't know about you but I'm fresian". Cow Jokes... Skip to content Puns And One Liners. Check our Twitter and Facebook feeds for a joke on the hour every hour… Menu Close Indexes; 2023; 2022; 2021; 2020; 2019; 2018; 2017; 2016; 2015; 2014; 2013; Cow JokesSteal these classic one-liner jokes in our collection of the best one-liner jokes from experts in funny like Milton Berle and Conan O'Brien. 122 School Jokes That Won't Land You in DetentionInspirational Retirement One Liners. 29. Retirement is the only time in life when time no longer equals money. 30. Retire from your job, but never retire your mind. 31. Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.Are you planning a trip and looking for a reliable and comfortable mode of transportation? Look no further than Eagle Liner bus tickets. With their extensive network, affordable pr...Just took a power nap on a park bench. Made $7.30 in change. One liner tags: attitude, life, money. 74.75 % / 106 votes. I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. One liner tags: communication, money, rude, women, work. 74.66 % / 115 votes.Are you considering installing an inground pool in your backyard? One of the important factors to consider is the cost of installing a pool liner. The pool liner not only enhances ...If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money? 44. Knock, knock. ... Just like one-liner jokes, these clever jokes crack us up. rd.com. Good one-liners.Conflicting Currency Puns (Oxymoronic Puns) 1. The bank teller was a cheerful miser. 2. The ATM was always out of cash and full of despair. 3. The banker joked that money is the root of all riches. 4. The savings account had a spending limit. 5. The loan officer said, “We’re happy to give you credit, just not that much.” 6.One liner tags: christian, puns. 82.62 % / 3844 votes. share. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. One liner tags: car, christian. 82.56 % / 2770 votes. share. Plan ahead - It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark. One liner tags: christian.The priest looked at the bottle and said, "Good Lord! He's done it again.". A drunk got on a bus one day and sat down next to a priest. The drunk stank of wine, his shirt was stained, his face was all red, and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading.Quotes About Saving And Making Money. "Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions.". - A.A. Latimer. "Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.". - George Burns. "If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting.". - Ben Franklin.I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here. One liner tags: animal, death, rude, sarcastic. 82.22 % / 1639 votes. The only thing more important than your happiness is mine so get on it. One liner tags: happiness, rude. 82.14 % / 626 votes.Funny Money Captions: "Living that money pun life like a boss! #CashMeLaughing #PunnyMood". "Money can't buy happiness, but it sure can buy laughter! #LaughingAllTheWayToTheBank #FunnyMoney". "Handling cash and checks like a pro - and cracking jokes while at it! #MoneyHumor #PunnyBusiness". "Investing in laughter - the best ...Tying the Knot: Hilarious One-Liner Marriage Puns. 1. Marriage is like a deck of cards – in the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade! 2. Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence! 3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband. 4.An economist friend told me to put something away for a rainy day. I've gone for an umbrella. Bought a tyre for my car last year for £120. Cost £180 today. That's inflation for you. I used to be a banker but I lost interest. A friend of mine invented a washing machine for bank notes. It's a real money spinner.An accountant is someone who looks after the financial records of a business. We have put together asset of the finest accounting puns to be shared with all your CPA countempories in the office, enjoy! 1. When an accountant is under pressure they ask their boss to cut them sum slack. 2.Jan 3, 2023 · Fortunately, I love money.”. – Jackie Mason. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”. – Bob Hope. “Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.”. – Robin Williams. “Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score.Sep 10, 2023 · Funny One Liners on Money. I’m not rich, but I’m happy. And I think that’s more important. Unless you’re a banker. Then being rich is better. I’m not a financial advisor, but I can tell you that money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy a lot of things that make you happy. I’m not good with money.Tying the Knot: Hilarious One-Liner Marriage Puns. 1. Marriage is like a deck of cards – in the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade! 2. Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence! 3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband. 4.Puns And One Liners. Check our Twitter and Facebook feeds for a joke on the hour every hour… Menu Close Indexes; 2023; 2022; 2021; 2020; 2019; 2018; 2017; 2016; 2015; 2014; 2013; Curry Jokes I ordered a pelican curry the other night. It tasted ok but the bill was enormous.WeatherTech is a renowned brand that specializes in manufacturing high-quality automotive accessories. One of their most popular products is the WeatherTech Cargo Liner, which prov...If shopping bags slide around in your car's trunk you can purchase a trunk liner or just use a rug pad to keep things from moving around. Household magazine Real Simple's weblog po...Fraudulent Fun (One-liner Puns) 1. Why did the fraudster go to pasta school? To learn how to cook the books! 2. The bank thief was caught red-handed… and red-faced. 3. The Ponzi scheme operator was quite the magician - he made people's money disappear! 4. Why did the fraudulent tomato turn red? It got caught in a squeeze! 5.We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets …Whether it’s puns, one-liners, or jokes, the spellbinding fusion of laughter and magic creates an enchanting experience. So remember, laughter is the best spell of all, and a joke well-told can be just as magical as the fanciest trick. Keep smiling, keep laughing, and keep the magic alive! Discover a treasure trove of the 75 best magic jokes ...I'm always there. I'm a skeleton, and I've got a few bones to pick with you. I don't always dance, but when I do, I do it like a skeleton. I may be a skeleton, but I've got a heart of bone. You can't scare me, I'm already a skeleton. I used to be a skeleton, but I found my funny bone.Money Jokes. Pigeons must be wealthy. They have no problem putting deposits on expensive cars. The theme of this week’s one-liners and puns is money …Here are 15 clever Hawaii puns to make your Hawaii Instagram captions stand out like a vibrant hibiscus flower in full bloom: "Shell-ebrating the good life in Hawaii!". 2. "Having a whale of a time!". 3. "Aloha my old life, Hawaii have a new one now!". 4.One liner tags: death, puns. 80.17 % / 1029 votes. Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired. One liner tags: car, communication, death, puns. 79.99 % / 387 votes. A tree house is the biggest insult to a tree. "Here, I killed your friend.4. "I'm not rich, I'm just outstanding in my field of money jokes!" 5. "I'm not cheap, I just have a high investment in dad jokes!" One-liner Money Puns. 1. I used to be a baker but I couldn't make enough dough. 2. Why did the coin go to school? It wanted to get smart change. 3. When the financial planner got sick, he lost ...If you’re considering building a pond in your garden, one of the most crucial decisions you’ll need to make is choosing the right pond liner. A pond liner acts as a barrier between...Puns And One Liners. Check our Twitter and Facebook feeds for a joke on the hour every hour… Menu Close Indexes; 2023; 2022; 2021; 2020; 2019; 2018; 2017; 2016; 2015; 2014; 2013; Mechanic Jokes Popped into the local garage, and the mechanic was drinking a cup of tea. Think he was on a brake.Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nut are under a buck. One liner tags: alcohol, animal, money, puns. 78.30 % / 2705 votes. share. When you realize that waiting for the waiter makes you the waiter. One liner tags: alcohol, food, life. 77.34 % / 70 votes. share.Whenever i have a headache,i take two asprins and keep away the children,like the bottle says. One liner tags: stupid. 79.79 % / 272 votes. share. If you glue a dead wasp to your palm, you can smack your boss on the back of the head as hard as you want and act like you saved him. One liner tags: animal, stupid, work.Puns And One Liners. Check our Twitter and Facebook feeds for a joke on the hour every hour… Menu Close Indexes; 2023; 2022; 2021; 2020; 2019; 2018; 2017; 2016; 2015; 2014; 2013; Tile Jokes Great new floor in my bathroom but you have to make sure you set them in just one direction. I got them from Harry's tiles.This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Inflation Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…. Sad to hear about the last local balloon company closing. It couldn’t keep up with the high cost of inflation…. Bought a tyre for my car last year for £120. Cost £180 today.Puns are clever ways to tell jokes with words or phrases that can have multiple meanings—and we're sharing 75 bear puns and one-liners that span from teddy bears and polar bears to koala bears ...Everyday Quirks One-Liners. "I mentioned to my wife that her eyebrow sketches were lofty. She raised an eyebrow.". "On my whiskey diet, I've misplaced a few days this week.". "Diving into a book on floating in space. I just can't set it aside!". "I don't grapple with madness; I relish its every tick.". "My bed's an ...One-liner stock market jokes. Women and stock markets have one thing in common: if you don't pull out in time, you end up losing a lot of money. It is only in the stock market where you can buy chicken broth in bulk. I have a very honorable and courteous friend, but he hates the stock market, so the other day I asked him why he hates the ...Fi/Fin_ Any word with the word fin is an easy fish pun. E.g. coffin, infin. Fun/Fin_ We'll have so much fin. Gil/Gill_ Any word with the sound gil can be turned into a pun. E.g. gillty. Headache/Haddock_ Stop talking, I have a haddock! Ill/Gill_ Any word with ill in it can be replaced with gill. E.g. gill.Puns And One Liners. Check our Twitter and Facebook feeds for a joke on the hour every hour… Menu Close Indexes; 2023; 2022; 2021; 2020; 2019; 2018; 2017; 2016; 2015; 2014; 2013; Shoe Jokes What is made of leather, a foot long, and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe.Summer one liners. First woman: My son came to visit for summer vacation. Second woman: How nice! Did you meet him at the airport? First woman: Oh, no. I've known him for years! One liner tags: communication, family, summer, time, women. 73.98 % / 278 votes.Nov 24, 2023 · I’ll loan out 40 of my favorite jokes and puns about money, finances, and debt. We’ve got knock-knock jokes, one-liners, and ridiculous puns. Along the way, you can use these laughs to open up educational conversations with your kids and teens, teaching them all about budgeting and credit cards. So fork over some of your time and indulge in ...They don't trust anything they can't freeze. An IRS auditor is walking down the street when a mugger stops him. "Give me your money!" the mugger says. "You can't do that!" says the ...Quotes About Saving And Making Money. “Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions.”. – A.A. Latimer. “Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”. – George Burns. “If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting.”. – Ben Franklin.The trick is to stop thinking of it as 'your' money. ~ IRS auditor. I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. ~ Douglas Adams. Money's only something you need in case you don't die tomorrow. ~ Martin Sheen. A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. ~ George Bernard Shaw.A world without laughter is like a piano without keys. Let these piano jokes, puns, and one-liners keep your spirits in tune and the laughter echoing. Keep tickling those ivories, and don't forget to strike a humorous chord every now and then! Unique Harry Potter Jokes: 60 Magical Laughs for True Fans. Psychology Jokes: 60 Hilarious Insights ...Money. Sport. Life & More. Puzzles. ... 2023 5:13 pm. Here are 110 of the best jokes and one-liners of all time, ... in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ...15. ADVERTISEMENT. A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. First of all, it is so short that by telling it, you’ll never miss the ‘magical moment’ and will always leave your audience amused (that is if you’ve calculated your timing perfectly). Hence, if you are looking for a comedic ...If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money? 44. Knock, knock. ... Just like one-liner jokes, these clever jokes crack us up. rd.com. Good one-liners.He said, “Take the spoon out next time.”. First astronaut: “Hey, I can’t find any milk for my coffee.”. Second astronaut: “In space, no one can. Here, use cream.”. Someone stole my coffee cup from work today. I’m just off down the police station now to look at a few mug shots.These puns, riddles, and one-liners will crack up kids and adults. By Erin Cavoto Published: Jul 16, 2021. Save Article. It's never too early to start preparing for Halloween. There's a lot to do, after all! You have to come up with clever Halloween costumes, stock up on candy, and watch all your favorite scary movies to get in the spooky mood ...61. What did the husband say to his wife after she nagged him for spending the day fishing. “C’mon honey, I just wanted to seas the day!”. 62. A person standing on a dock was startled by a man who was swimming through the water with his arms full of fishing gear. Frantic, he threw the gear on the dock shouting “Here, hold this!”.11. "Flying solo" is not recommended for pilots-in-training. 12. "Grounded" is a pilot's worst nightmare. 13. "Air traffic control" keeps pilots on the right path. 14. "Flying the friendly skies" is all about having a good attitude.170. I keep my money in the Southbank. 171. I'm Dover it. 172. What a wild Hyde this trip has been. There you have it, folks! A laughter-packed journey through the best of British humor, complete with chucklesome jokes, witty puns, and snappy one-liners. The beauty of humor is that it not only lightens the mood but also brings people …Categorized as 2015, Randomness Tagged corny, corny jokes, humour, jokes, one-liners, puns, spring onions, witty. 1 comment peter jones says: February 16, 2021 at 12:11 pm. too many pop up adverts so I turned off. Reply. Leave a ReplyCancel reply. Post navigation. Previous post. Egg Jokes.47 of the Funniest One-Liners on the Internet. By Tim Latterner. Updated: Jan. 25, 2024. Nothing's easier than a simple one-liner. The biggest laughs come from jokes that take little more than a ...Going through some old pages, I spotted that Elvis comes up frequently, so here are lots of those puns and one liners collated as a collection of Elvis jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…. I lost my pet mouse Elvis the other night. He was caught in a trap. Tried to book tickets for an Elvis tribute night ...Mar 12, 2024 · 9. The baker woke up on the wrong side of the bread. 10. Money is called dough because we knead it. 11. The butter said to the bread, “I’m on a roll.”. 12. It’s a matter of loaf or death. 13.Making weather forecasters look good! #100 'Is our money all gone?' 'No, don't panic…it's just with somebody else at the moment'. #101 I was hoping to get a job as a koala bear attendant at the zoo but I didn't meet the koalafications! #102 I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work! #103.Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them! 80.56 % / 347 votes. I think we should get rid of democracy. All in favor raise your hand. 80.45 % / 481 votes. Absolutely hillarious political one-liners! The largest collection of political one-line jokes in the world. All sorted from the best by our visitors.One-liner stock market jokes. Women and stock markets have one thing in common: if you don't pull out in time, you end up losing a lot of money. It is only in the stock market where you can buy chicken broth in bulk. I have a very honorable and courteous friend, but he hates the stock market, so the other day I asked him why he hates the ...Why did the eyeball spend all of his money on Black Friday? Everything was eye one, get one free. ... 105+ Rizz Jokes, Puns, & One-Liners to Impress Everyone. 100+ Dry & Sarcastic Jokes for Anyone with a Deadpan Sense of Humor. The Best Dating Jokes: Puns, Knock Knock Jokes, and More.