You're gonna grab the leash. That's right, now put it around my neck. Tighten it to the third hole, not the second, not the fourth, the third. Now you're gonna unlock the front door and take me to the park on Elm, not the one on 25th". — Moose (@KMRTMoose) September 2, 2022. There's one in every group…🥴😏🤣🐕 pic.twitter.com ...13 Funny Tweets From This Weekend. LOL @ the screenshot of someone's response to a Hinge prompt. For some reason, the best tweets always seem to happen …Mar 24, 2016 · At its core, Twitter is really the world's greatest delivery device for short, absurd fart jokes. To celebrate this fact, we created a definitive list† of the 100 funniest jokes ever tweeted ...21 Of The Funniest Tweets About Married Life (April 25-May 8) "Anytime my husband upsets me, I just add more shampoo bottles to our shower. Currently, there's 47." Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. Somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life ― and sum ...Every week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets on the platform. Read on for 20 relatable ones that will have you laughing in agreement. 1. my husband thinks he's easy-going but also just complained that he has to use two hands because the toilet paper is hard to rip. — nika (@nikalamity) March 6, 2024. 2.Good tweets: Build rapport. Highlight your personality. Engage your followers. AREN'T boring. This article will show you 18 good tweet ideas and how to use them on your social media. These Twitter post ideas are designed to help ENGAGE your followers and make your page more interesting.Regardless of people’s tastes, we can all agree that some of the best funny memes are universal, like the Internet’s favorite ‘Rick Roll.’. Let’s face it: we have all cringed when hearing the lines: ‘Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you.’. #11. DOAGnc Report.Each week at HuffPost, we scour Twitter to find the funniest posts about our fur-balls being complete goofballs. They're sure to make you howl. ... 22 Of The Funniest Tweets About Cats And Dogs This Week (Feb. 18-24) 23 Of The Funniest Tweets About Cats And Dogs This Week.Enjoy! @HenpeckedHal via Twitter. @MegStEsprit via Twitter. @Froschauer_AF via Twitter. @carlifarley via Twitter. @rusty_coach via Twitter. @mom_tho via Twitter. @MommyCocktail via Twitter ...By Caroline Bologna. Jun 23, 2023, 12:20 PM EDT. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!26 of the Funniest Tweets About Social Media We've Ever Seen. 1) On Optimism. Instagram: My life is a party. Snapchat: My life is a quirky tv show. Facebook: …FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)Moreover, creating funny tweets to post on Twitter is a monetization means you may want to consider. Twitter is a great platform to showcase your talent if you're a funny person with humorous jokes. You'll attain popularity and fame; then, as your viewers grow, Twitter will pay you. But first, you must be eligible and register for the ...Apr 2, 2022 · 2. ONE-LINER FUNNY TWEETS: It’s more fun to read a quick and funny single line on Twitter. It takes less time which is really attractive for a reader. A single short-line tweet is easier to make fun of someone or something on Twitter, Facebook, Whatsapp, Instagram, and all other social media platforms. Here are some funny one-liner tweets.Twitter Was A Hilarious Hole Of Chaos This Past Week, So Here Are 26 Of The Funniest Tweets From The Week. "Jesus Stuns in New Testament." Welcome. Leaf-peeping season is on its way out, and if ...Maybe. Depends on how long that week was. Anyway, please, sit back, relax — keep all limbs inside the moving vehicle — and enjoy the 13 best tweets of the week. You earned it, pal. 1. The song ...Charlotte: it was a 4.8 on the richter scale! Miranda: the richter scale is a totally outdated method for measuring magnitudes and everyone knows it. Samantha: let's just say it wasn't the ...Take a look at some of the best Tweets to see what we mean. Compiled by Bored Panda, the list serves as a cautionary tale for anybody thinking of taking to Twitter to say something "hilarious." Don't forget to vote for the best burns and best comebacks delivered! Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News!Every week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets on the platform. Read on for 20 relatable ones that will have you laughing in agreement. 1. Dog snoring: adorable. Husband snoring: unacceptable. — Midge (@mxmclain) February 22, 2024. 2.30 Of The Funniest Tweets About Cats And Dogs This Week (May 1-7) "I would just like to say that your dog looks perfect in his or her raincoat." Woof — it’s been a long week. If you feel like you’ve been working like a dog, let us offer you the internet equivalent of a big pile of catnip: hilarious tweets about pets.Jan 7, 2022 · 29 Of The Funniest Tweets About Cats And Dogs This Week (Jan. 1-7) "no one lives more lavishly than a puppy owned by a woman in her early 20s 😂😂 😂 ". Woof — it’s been a long week. If you feel as though you’ve been working like a dog, let us offer you the internet equivalent of a big pile of catnip: hilarious tweets about pets.11 Hilariously Honest Tweets About Aging. Funny, but true. By Yagana Shah. Nov 24, 2015, 03:39 PM EST. LEAVE A COMMENT. Not everyone welcomes middle age, but if you have a sense of humor about it, growing older can be pretty darn comical. To make light of aging, we've rounded up the very best -- and funniest -- Tweets from our midlife friends ...25 Funny Tweets From The Week Because Nothing Really Matters And We're All Just Floating On A Big Ol' Rock. "Upstairs neighbors be like omgggg I almost forgot to break my furniture and throw 100 ...ERROR LOADING. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My son has a shirt that says, "my dad can beat up your dad ...We've rounded up 21 funny and relatable tweets about school holiday concerts and all the shenanigans that go with them. Parenting level: Made my kid wear an obnoxious holiday headband, so I can spot her easier during the school Christmas concert. — Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) December 17, 2019. Me at my 3 year old niece's preschool ...22 Of The Funniest Tweets About Cats And Dogs This Week (Mar. 9-15) "I get it dogs, I too want a little treat when I do something right". Woof — it's been a long week. If you feel like you've been working like a dog, let us offer you the internet equivalent of a big pile of catnip: hilarious tweets about pets. We Shih Tzu not.The Funniest Tweets & Social Media Examples From Funny Brands 1) Charmin See them on: Twitter | Facebook. You mean the toilet paper company? Darn tootin'! Serving as the original inspiration for this post, Charmin's Twitter presence is definitely a must-follow. Just check out the following series of tweets to see what we mean.In the fast-paced world of social media, humor has taken on a whole new meaning. With platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, funny jokes have become a staple of online cu...Ryan Reynolds and Chrissy Teigen might be the king and queen of Twitter but even the Royals have to respect their elders. Myrna Tellingheusen has been tweeting since 2015, and her wise quotes perfectly poke fun at the stereotypes surrounding old folks. So far, little is known about Myrna, and her identity is a complete mystery.Funny Twitter Quotes: Wish there was a way to pause adulting and lower the difficulty level. The whole "having a job" is getting in the way of "living my best life.". You don't know what you have until it's gone. For example: toilet paper. Someday I will solve my problems with critical reasoning.Then be sure to also check out these funniest tweets on parenting! ( h/t) #1. granttanaka Report. POST. #2. iwearaonesie Report. POST. #3. GrantTanaka Report.5. Legit call from the school: Principal: I just wanted to touch base with you. Your daughter was baiting seagulls into the playground with gummy worms and actually caught one; Like in her arms ...Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest stuff we can screencap and share with you. And every week we narrow it down to our 50-ish favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds.The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (Feb. 20-26) "telling the song to 'shut up' right before you skip it >>>". The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or fewer. Scroll through this week's great tweets from women ...14. husband: when is [5]’s birthday. me: same as your mom’s. husband: *blank stare*. — meghan (@deloisivete) November 27, 2023. 15. I’m in the kitchen baking for Thanksgiving, so naturally my kids have decided to build a fort in here and my husband is helping by standing in front of the stove. — Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) November ...One of the perks about being a pet owner is being able to experience all of the funny quirks of your furry friend first-hand. Especially for dogs, there are a surplus of funny thin...When it comes to connecting with people, celebrities can’t get enough of Twitter. Having the ability to easily describe what you’re feeling can become addictive. If you let off too...The funniest of the funny. The dumbest of the dumb. So, here they are the 76 best tweets of the year. 1. An absolute genius who must be protected at all costs. 2. Keep me out of ALL situations ...Hello. We're in that awkward transition season where it's not yet winter, but not quite fall. The holidays are around the corner so there's something to look forward to (or at least time off), but ...And that can result in internet gold. We rounded up a few tweets that capture the hellish and hilarious world of video conferencing right now. Take a look at the misfortune and other laughworthy accounts below: "I'm here live, I'm not a cat," says lawyer after Zoom filter mishap. "I can see that," responds judge pic.twitter.com ...The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 30-Jan. 5) "Reached into a pocket of my diaper bag only to find a handful of cat food. When asked about this, my 5 year old said, 'in case we see some cats'". Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on.My 6yo calls intrusive thoughts "bad thinks" so henceforth that is what they shall be called. My 4 yo calls cream cheese "scream cheese". It makes me laugh, but he doesn't know why it's funny. And that makes me laugh, too. Kids are honestly the best. My 4yo just asked for "corn off the bone."So here’s our list of 27 of the funniest tweets on office lives and jobs, including some from the funniest Indian Twitter accounts there are. If you have a job, you will relate with them. 1. Ah, talk to the HR is the talk to the hand of the corporate world. Me: SIR, THE OFFICE BUILDING IS ON FIRE!As early as the late 19th century, comic strips in newspapers have provided some much-needed humor for generations of children, adults and adult children. Charlie Brown, Snoopy and...28. Working In Office is soooo degrading why am I biking 3 miles in slacks at 8 am with a jar of beef stew in my backpack. — manic pixie cheese curd, MPH (@tildawhirl) October 17, 2023. Twitter ...24 Times Ryan Reynold's Twitter Replies Were Pure Gold. Anybody who's read Ryan Reynold's tweets about parenting will know why the Deadpool star is one of the funniest men on Twitter. But if you still need proof of this then look no further than his awesome Twitter responses. Mr. Reynolds is no stranger to attention, and the attention he ...1. Doctor Hurdy Gurdy @NotReallyaDr. i like big butts and i cannot lie, my brother likes small butts and cannot tell the truth, each of us guards a door, one leads to an anaconda that is sprung ...If you feel like you've been working like a dog, let us offer you the internet equivalent of a big pile of catnip: hilarious tweets about pets. We Shih Tzu not. Each week at HuffPost, we scour Twitter to find the funniest posts about our furballs being complete goofballs.Being witty is everyone’s forte on X due to the platform’s emphasis on text-based content. While several posts are funny, only a few are worthy of taking the cake. Below are two witty Twitter posts you’ll love reading. 1. X User Shows Off Her Knowledge in Biology.Somehow the married people on X, formerly known as Twitter, continue to find humor in the minutiae of wedded life. Every week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets on the platform. Read on for 20 relatable ones that will have you laughing in agreement. 1. My wife: You should pluck that white hair on your beard.11. Nothing like the gift of a soap scum sponge from your mother-in-law to let you know your house is dirty. — 💀SpookyLittleComic👻 (@CunniLinguist77) October 26, 2022. 12. My husband asked me to stop being passive aggressive to my mother-in-law, but without that we'd have no relationship.30 Hilarious Tweets That Define The Dry Scottish Sense Of Humor (New Pics) Liucija Adomaite, Gabija Palšytė and. Denis Tymulis. 171. 15. ADVERTISEMENT. You've probably heard of the notoriously funny British sense of humor, or American comedy that cracks everyone up laughing, from visitors of the famous comedy cellars to viewers of legendary ...Aug 18, 2023, 09:34 AM EDT. LEAVE A COMMENT. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter is rebranding to X, the humor lives on. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents ...24 Of The Funniest Tweets About Cats And Dogs This Week (May 21-27) "every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun". Woof — it's been a long week. If you feel like you've been working like a dog, let us offer you the internet equivalent of a big pile of catnip: hilarious tweets about pets. We Shih Tzu not.10. My husband just shushed me. He will be missed. — Jawbreaker 🍾🥂🎊 (@sixfootcandy) January 21, 2021. 11. Wife and I are drinking outside on the deck and the neighbors are also outside having a massive argument so looks like our night just planned itself. — Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 24, 2021.Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!On Twitter, people are poking fun at the whole process, from the moment a decision is made to the headaches of moving day itself. Here are some of the funniest, most relatable tweets about the experience: First, there’s the internal debate over whether moving is worth the hassle. the sexual tension between me and moving out.Jan 28, 2021 · Not to mention that questions are a fantastic way to get engagement! 6. Tweet your opinion of a movie you just watched. If you just watched a movie that aroused some emotions or thoughts out of you, tweet about it. Share your views on the movie and what you liked or didn't like about it.Below, we've compiled some of the funniest tweets we found on Twitter conveying the reality of student life. As always, we invite you to upvote the tweets you liked the most and share some of the funniest moments you had in your student years! #1. adam_cook2014 Report.Then keep on scrolling for a list of funny yet completely relatable tweets written by coffee lovers. Compiled by your one and only, Bored Panda, I'm sure any coffee lover could relate. (h/t: twentytwowords) #1. Report.May 30, 2024 - Explore Mandolin Brown's board "Tweets!!!!!", followed by 3,352 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny memes, funny, hilarious.Funny posts! From online! 04/15/2023 By Tim Marcin. Gwyneth's drinking tea and he's Ken: The 8 best tweets of the week. ... Put on your ugliest pants and enjoy the funny tweets. 03/25/2023Charmin. You’d be amazed to find a toilet paper company in this list. But Charmin is on point with a laid-back brand voice and sense of humor on its Twitter. Keeping abreast with industry-related posts (even if the posts aren’t real), Charmin displays a sense of humor through a funny pun.When writing funny tweets, especially one-liners, there are two parts you need to be mindful of. The first part is the setup. This is what gets the audience hooked and leads them in an obvious direction. The second part is the punchline. This is where you deliver a surprise twist, making the joke funny.The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 23-29) "My son just informed me it’s illegal for 9 year olds to eat broccoli." Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the ...1. Doctor Hurdy Gurdy @NotReallyaDr. i like big butts and i cannot lie, my brother likes small butts and cannot tell the truth, each of us guards a door, one leads to an anaconda that is sprung ...In honor of summer vacation season, we've rounded up 17 funny tweets from parents about this dreaded question from kids ― and their creative responses. 9yo: (for the 900th time) Are we there yet? Me: (unlocks doors) Yes, get out. 13 taught 4 "are we there yet?" and husband threw them for a loop when he simply answered, "yes".Nov 17, 2023, 10:44 AM EST. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents ...Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! The 5-year-old has been limping around with a leg injury all morning and I would feel bad for her except the injury is "a fox bit her in her dream". — Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) August 5, 2023. The kids are asking for fun shaped sandwiches for their back ...2. Post Malone's crazy question. A screengrab of Post Malone's tweet. Photo: @PostMalone on Twitter. Post Malone is one of the most followed celebrities on Twitter. However, some of his tweets can be hilarious. 3. Kylie Jenner's life-changing step. Kylie Jenner's cereal post."I try to schedule a new post to go up every 40 minutes or so, even on weekends and holidays. There are rarely any breaks. A group needs consistent, high-quality content to remain visible within the algorithm. When selecting Tweets, I will use a combination of my personal taste as well as the numbers attached to it."5 on Saturday evening: We never do anything fun! — Unexpected SAHM (@UnexpectedSAHM) June 18, 2022. Monday-Friday: my kids must be dragged/coaxed out of bed at 7:45 to barely make it on time for school. The weekend: Wake up like they've had three cups of coffee at 6:45am.Here they are, the 10 best and funniest tweets of the week. 1. You take the good with the bad. 2. Well, well, well how the turntables have...turned. 3. Much to think about indeed. 4.This is a ...14. husband: when is [5]’s birthday. me: same as your mom’s. husband: *blank stare*. — meghan (@deloisivete) November 27, 2023. 15. I’m in the kitchen baking for Thanksgiving, so naturally my kids have decided to build a fort in here and my husband is helping by standing in front of the stove. — Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) November ...Here's a little round-up of some of the funniest tweets I've come across lately. Hope these bring you some laughs and hope you have a great week! Janene. #1. When older people say, "Enjoy them while they are young." They are talking about your knees and hips not your kids. — mariana Z (@mariana057) February 9, 2023. #2.But even in these strange times, people are still posting good tweets. We here at Mashable collect the best tweets of every week. So now it's time to collect the best and funniest posts of the year — all 50 of them. 1. Humans are simply not built for email. 2. I can't explain why this is so funny but it is. 3.So Severance was incredible. And ...