Wishing you a retirement filled with lots of naps and little to-do lists! Congratulations on retiring - now you can be a professional napper!Robert Benchley. Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. George Burns. If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles. Doug Larson. When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Enjoy! Congrats on your retirement… it’s kind of like a six-month holiday, twice a year. Retirement is like a lifelong vacation, except you’re not in good enough shape to enjoy its many perks. Warning: Retired person in the vicinity. Knows everything and has plenty of time to tell it! Congrats, dad. Robert Benchley. Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. George Burns. If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles. Doug Larson. When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.Retirement allows nurses to do what they love and travel around the world. But retirement can also be an anxious time. The thought of “what next after now” brings many different emotions. Sending funny retirement wishes for nurses to your retiring friend or colleague can help with the transition. And make them chuckle when they think back …Funny Retirement Messages. Simple Retirement Messages. Retirement Wishes. Throughout life we celebrate some major milestones – your 18th birthday, meeting the love of your life, having children. Another biggie is that time when you decide to leave the working world and retire.Retirement Quotes for Teachers. Your dedication, patience and kindness will never be forgotten. We couldn't have had a better teacher. Thank you for everything and have a wonderful retirement. Education is one thing, but you gave so much more. You helped me rise and soar. I'll miss you. Have a wonderful retirement.Oct 31, 2020 ... Source: https://bayart.org/funny-retirement-quotes/ Retirement is the withdrawal from one's position or occupation or from one's active ...It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.”. – Gene Perret. “The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.”. – Unknown. “You don’t stop laughing when you grow old. You grow old when you stop laughing.”. – George Bernard Shaw. “To me, retirement means doing what you have ...1. From a successful career to a successful retirement ⁠— huge congratulations to you! 2. Happy retirement ⁠— you deserve it. 3. Years of hard work, and now you truly get to reap the rewards. Congratulations! 4. Enjoy your new life of resting, relaxing, and spending time with family.Congratulatory Retirement Messages. Enjoy your new status as a retiree! It's the last time you'll need to start a new job. Don't forget to spend a little of your extra time with us. We're so happy for you! I have to be honest with you. I'm a little jealous. Time to relax and do whatever you want! Congratulations!We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us.Funny retirement messages can add a lighthearted and memorable element to your well wishes, making the retiree smile and laugh. In this article, we have compiled a list of 10 different types of funny retirement messages, each with its own unique examples. Whether you're looking for a witty one-liner or a humorous anecdote, we've got you covered.Retirement Quotes for Teachers. Your dedication, patience and kindness will never be forgotten. We couldn't have had a better teacher. Thank you for everything and have a wonderful retirement. Education is one thing, but you gave so much more. You helped me rise and soar. I'll miss you. Have a wonderful retirement.Funny Retirement Messages. Happy retirement to my uncle whose whole professional life is no less than exotic holidays. You have enjoyed earlier, you will enjoy more your retirement days. Congrats on your retirement! Retirement is a lot like a government of our country, you will get a lot of money to spend for doing nothing.Enjoy. All the best with your retirement. I hope you enjoy the greener pastures. Best wishes for an awesome retirement. Here’s hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life. Enjoy your new found freedom and make the most of it. Happy retirement. Many congrats – here’s to a long, healthy and happy retirement.18 Funny or Informal Retirement Messages; Life events such as birth, marriage, and retirement are turning points. Hence, we always celebrate these events with lots of enthusiasm and joy. A person's retirement is a major milestone in life, but it can be a difficult phase for many as they bid farewell to their workplaces.Goodbye tension, hello pension. Never forget the difference you made. Congratulations on extending your weekend by five days. The best chapter of your life is about to begin. …Wishing you a long and joyous retirement. Wishing you a wonderful retirement. May you enjoy your retirement to the fullest. Wishing you all the best for your retirement. may all your retirement dreams come true. Wishing you all the joy and happiness that a happy retirement can bring.Funny Retirement Messages for Family Members. Sending funny retirement wishes to family members is a playful and light-hearted way to express love, appreciation, and best wishes for their new journey. Dad, now that you’re retired, does that mean you’ll finally have time to learn how to cook? Wishing you burnt dinners and lots of laughter in ...Funny Retirement Wishes and Messages Appeal to their sense of humor with these funny retirement wishes and card sentiments. Celebrate their retirement and send them on their way with a laugh. Goodbye tension and hello pension! Congratulations from all of us to one well-deserving retiree. Congratulations on your retirement!SEE MORE: Funny Retirement Messages and Quotes. Retirement Wishes for a Sheriff. Enjoy your retirement sheriff and thank you for your years of keeping us safe; Happy retirement, sheriff. You have earned a rest after years of committed service and policing. Congratulations; You can look forward to a much more sedate pace of life …The holiday season is the perfect time to spread joy and laughter. And what better way to do it than through funny holiday greetings messages? Whether you’re sending cards to loved...Enjoy it!”. “Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.”. – Unknown. “I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.”. – Gene Perret. “When you retire, you switch bosses – from the one who hired you to the one who married you.”. – Gene Perret.Inspirational Retirement One Liners. 29. Retirement is the only time in life when time no longer equals money. 30. Retire from your job, but never retire your mind. 31. Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.As you consider a retirement gift, keep in mind the following options: Personalized retirement gifts. Sentimental retirement gifts. Group retirement gifts. …Jun 22, 2023 · A bloody clock.”. – Dave Allen. “When you retire, you switch bosses — from the one who hired you to the one who married you.”. – Gene Perret. “A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service.”. – Harry Mahtar. Aug 20, 2022 · Make the retiree laugh with a clever quip about life after they've finished their career. Funny retirement jokes and quotes add some well-meaning lightness and laughter to a retirement party, post-retirement dinner, or another event that celebrates this new chapter in the person's life. Funny messages for Retirement are a great way to celebrate an incredible accomplishment. After years of hard work, Retirement is a period to enjoy the fruits of your labor. These funny messages can be shared with your colleagues and serve as an entertaining reminder of all the good times you’ve had together. Additionally, these …READ MORE: Funny Retirement Messages and Quotes. For a Teachers Retirement. Schools out! And for Angela, it’s forever! So come to her retirement party At The Punch Bowl 48 West Street 6pm, September 29th – Let’s say goodbye to an amazing teacher Ian is retiring and will be greatly missed So join us for his retirement party …READ MORE: Funny Retirement Messages and Quotes. For a Teachers Retirement. Schools out! And for Angela, it’s forever! So come to her retirement party At The Punch Bowl 48 West Street 6pm, September 29th – Let’s say goodbye to an amazing teacher Ian is retiring and will be greatly missed So join us for his retirement party …51 Funny Retirement Quotes. 1. “I am so busy since I have retired, I may have to go back to work to get a rest.”. — Uncle Dude. 2. “We have no porch, no rocking chair – and no time. My biggest need is a calendar because there are so many things to do.”. — Maurice Musholt. 3.So if you're struggling to find the words for a funny retirement message, or just want a laughable and irreverent take on retiring, try this collection of funny retirement wishes and quotes that will help see a …Funny. Funny retirement cake sayings are always a big hit (though not always appropriate for a workplace event). Here are some humorous options. Unemployed and Loving It. Take Us With You! Goodbye Tension. Hello Pension. Retirement is a Piece of Cake. Showering is Now Optional.Thanks for being a bright light on dull days. Your advice, support, and cheerfulness will be greatly missed. Your brilliance and your guidance has always inspired us to do better. You were not just a boss to us, but a mentor and a friend. Your presence will be missed. Happy Retirement to you.White elephant gift exchanges are more about entertaining than giving and receiving. White elephant gift exchanges are more about entertaining than giving and receiving. The goal i...May 18, 2023 · Funny Retirement Quotes. “The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.”. – Abe Lemons. “Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!”. “Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!”. “Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials: much to live on and much to live for.”. “Don’t act your age in retirement. Funny retirement quotes SVG bundle commercial use. Illustration for, men, women, kids, babies, or girls.Good for scrap posters, greeting cards, banners, ...Jan 23, 2022 · Find hilarious retirement wishes and quotes to make someone laugh as they retire. Whether it's for a coworker, a teacher or a friend, these funny messages will add some humor to their big moment. Here are 20 messages you may write on a coworker's retirement card to congratulate them: Congratulations on your retirement and your wonderful career! Happy retirement! We will miss you at the office! Celebrating you today! Congratulations on your retirement! Best wishes to you and your family. Happy retirement!Inside Message: Include a funny retirement quote inside the card. You can use it as the main message of what to write in a retirement card or as a complementary addition to your personalised note. Personalization: Tailor the quote to the retiree's personality or interests for a more meaningful touch.Find witty and relatable quotes and messages to celebrate someone's retirement. Whether it's for a colleague, a boss, a friend or a family member, these humorous notes will make them laugh and feel appreciated.4. Someday I hope to be a dad just like you. 5. I don’t know how I’d make it through this world without you. 6. There is nothing you can’t fix for me, including a bad …It’s like getting fired, but with a watch. Happy trails!”. – Henny Youngman. “After all these years, you’re finally free! Now go conquer your bucket list and make us all jealous!”. – Rita Rudner. “Retirement is the sweet reward for a lifetime of waking up early.”. – Unknown. “Don’t worry, we’ll keep the coffee pot full ...These quotes are perfect to wish your retiring boss, teachers, doctors and co-workers. “Congratulations on your retirement!”. “We envy you, but are excited for you!”. “Enjoy being the master of absolutely nothing.”. “Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!”. “Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.”.We hope you enjoyed reading our Funny Retirement Quotes, stay tuned for more from SLS Communities. Read 100 Retirement Wishes Here. Retire In Arizona With SLS Communities. 480-348-0300. SCHEDULE A TOUR. If you or someone you know is looking for the best places to retire in Arizona, SLS Communities can help!Related: Retirement Wishes for Coworker: Quotes and Messages to Inspire. Happy Retirement Funny Retirement Quotes to Get Them Laughing. Get ready to make the retiree chuckle harder than their old boss’s comb-over with these funny quotes! I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day. Gene PerretFunny. Funny retirement cake sayings are always a big hit (though not always appropriate for a workplace event). Here are some humorous options. Unemployed and Loving It. Take Us With You! Goodbye Tension. Hello Pension. Retirement is a Piece of Cake. Showering is Now Optional.Funny Retirement Quotes for Boss. Retirement for a boss marks not just the end of an era of leadership but also the beginning of a well-deserved break from all the deadlines, meetings, and decision-making. As such, it’s the perfect occasion to infuse some humor into your well-wishes, lightening the mood and celebrating their new phase of life ...Happy Retirement! To the worlds best teacher – have an amazing retirement! Dear teacher, I’m going to miss you so much. You helped me achieve more than I could have ever imagined. Enjoy your retirement! You’ve been the perfect teacher and inspired all of us. I will miss you more than I can say. Have a great retirement.To keep things simple, consider these wording ideas: Happy retirement, [Name]! You’ve earned it. Congrats on your retirement! Enjoy this new chapter. Wishing you good health for the future. Sending happy retirement wishes your way, [Name]! Have a wonderful retirement, [Name]! Wishing you a happy and healthy retirement — have fun!To keep things simple, consider these wording ideas: Happy retirement, [Name]! You’ve earned it. Congrats on your retirement! Enjoy this new chapter. Wishing you good health for the future. Sending happy retirement wishes your way, [Name]! Have a wonderful retirement, [Name]! Wishing you a happy and healthy retirement — have fun!White elephant gift exchanges are more about entertaining than giving and receiving. White elephant gift exchanges are more about entertaining than giving and receiving. The goal i...Sincerest wishes on your retirement! My best wishes on your retirement. You have a bright future ahead of you; enjoy it. Enjoy the freedom your achievement has earned. Happy retirement. Heartfelt Retirement Messages. A successful team is a group of many hands but of one mind. We were glad to work with a boss like you and wish you a happy ...Jul 17, 2020 ... 62.7K Likes, 814 Comments. TikTok video from Baron Ryan (@americanbaron): “What are you doing in retirement? #comedy #skit #funny #fyp”.It is your retirement that I always want for. Be with me always dad. 5). Tear your all timetable and make new ones; everything will be there, but except for work. Fun and joy get the priority and fear and scare make no place there. Enjoy your retirement the way you want. Wish a happy retirement to your dad can be sent through the text message ...Funny retirement wishes are a great way to celebrate the retiree's sense of humor and bring a lighthearted energy to the occasion. Whether you're looking for clever one-liners or witty anecdotes, there are plenty of retirement wishes that will have the retiree and everyone else in stitches.45 Funny Retirement Messages and Quotes. Wish a friend or colleague a happy retirement with one of these funny retirement messages and enjoy a laugh with them as they head off into the sunset. Someone Sent You A Greeting - Quotes, Wishes and Messages. Similar ideas popular now. Quotes By Genres.Retirement Quotes. Golf Quotes. Albert Einstein Quotes. Bill Gates Quotes. Bob Marley Quotes. Bruce Lee Quotes. Buddha Quotes. Nurse Retirement Quotes. Funny Success Quotes.Late last year, Netflix began experimenting with a new TikTok-like feed of funny videos inside its mobile app, which it called “Fast Laughs.” Today, the company announced the new f...Be funny and be personal. Retirement card messages are all about being funny. Retirement is supposed to be a happy occasion, so there are no taboo things to write. Just don't make jokes about the person dying soon. You can make fun of age, work ethic, etc. When you make the retirement joke personal to the retiree, then it's even better.Inspirational Retirement One Liners. 29. Retirement is the only time in life when time no longer equals money. 30. Retire from your job, but never retire your mind. 31. Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.Funny Retirement Quotes Sayings. “It’s good to be out of the rat race, but you have to learn how to get along with less cheese,” the saying goes. “Retirement is essentially a long weekend with every day Monday,” said Gene Perret. -Anonymous. “Retiring also gives you the opportunity to complete tasks that you had put off while ...Feb 2, 2024 · Funny Retirement Wishes for Principal. May your retirement be as epic as your legendary assemblies, Principal! Enjoy the bliss of no more bell-ringing chaos. Wishing you a retirement so fabulous that even the school bell would want to ring one last time for you! Farewell, Principal! Cheers to a retirement filled with endless naps, daytime TV ... Endless laughter and joy await with the hilarious Funny Retirement Card—your ultimate choice for a retirement card. Its high-quality paper and vibrant colors add an extra touch of charm. Inside, you'll find a witty message that perfectly captures the spirit of retirement, making it a delightful keepsake for the lucky retiree.Cute and Funny Retirement Sentiments. Not all messages for your retiring friends and family need to be serious. If you would like a more cute or comical tone, then you can try these funny retirement messages. They might give the retiree a bit of a chuckle. Goodbye work! Hello Netflix! May your couch days be amazing. Happy …These quotes are perfect to wish your retiring boss, teachers, doctors and co-workers. “Congratulations on your retirement!”. “We envy you, but are excited for you!”. “Enjoy being the master of absolutely nothing.”. “Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!”. “Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.”.Welcome to the chuckle-inducing world of Funny Retirement Wishes! Here, we’re all about swapping the serious speeches for some good old belly laughs. Think about it – retirement is like graduating from the world of alarm clocks and deadlines to a life where every day is a potential brunch date.Jan 29, 2024 · 13. Short Retirement Quotes. Here are quotes that are short and sweet—ideal for texting and eliciting a chuckle or two from your retired friend or family member. “Retirement: Enjoy every day.”. “Retirement is not the end, it’s a new beginning.”. “The best is yet to come.”. “Life begins at retirement.”. Find more Funny Retirement Wishes here. Inspirational Retirement Messages for Family Members. Sending inspirational retirement wishes to family members is a meaningful way to express love, admiration, and best wishes for their journey ahead. Dad, as you retire, may you be reminded of all the lives you’ve touched and the impact you’ve made.Funny, heartwarming or professional. Celebrate health, happiness and the end of a long career but a fantastic new beginning. Short retirement messages and quotes to make them smile. You've retired! This is where it gets good. Here are 73 thoughtful messages to write in a retirement card for friends, family and colleagues. Funny, heartwarming or ...Just make sure you spend some of that extra time with me! 8. While you might think retirement means you’re old, it actually just means you’ve been working hard enough for a vacation. Congrats! 9. You deserve the most stress-free retirement ever! Best wishes, friend! 10. Life starts when you retire.Funny Out-of-Office Messages. I’ll email you back once I’ve defrosted. If found, contact someone other than me. I’ll get back to you when I return to civilization. If you need to reach me, travel to my home land of Florida. I know I’m supposed to say that I’ll have limited access to email, but... Hi, I’m Troy McClure.