10. "What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? In-vest-igator." 11. "Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.Take your conversation to the next level by asking him one of these 300 funny questions to make him laugh. Below you’ll find some fun questions that are flirty, dirty, romantic, weird, random, awkward, and even inappropriate. Whether you ask him in person or over text, these will certainly get the conversation going and even make him laugh.60. It must be Christmas, babe, because I cannot wait to unwrap you! 61. Let’s dress up tonight…. I’ll be the piñata and you’ll be stick. 62. Let’s make some babies…I mean, let me dirty text you later. 63. My favorite position is on my knees, begging for rain.Clever and Witty Humor. Scorpios are very smart and have powerful minds, so they enjoy witty, clever humor. A Scorpio man likes wordplay, puns, and other forms of intellectual humor. It makes him feel like he’s part of an elite group when he understands jokes that go over some other people’s heads.Flirty Texts to Make Him Laugh. You spend so much time on my mind, I should charge you rent 😉. Sweet dreams, I hope to see you there 😉. Kiss me if I'm wrong, I think you are in love with me. Violets aren't red, roses aren't blue, I can't do anything without thinking of you. The only thing you're allowed to wear tonight is me.I’m like a Rubik’s cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get, baby. Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart. I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. e in love at first sight or should I pass by again. I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.Text him first to start a flirty and fun conversation—you never know where one text will lead! Send him a joke or a cheesy pun to make him laugh out loud. Tease …My boss arrived at work with a brand-new Ferrari. Me: "wow, that is an amazing car". Boss: "if you work hard, put in the hours, and strive for excellence, I can buy myself another one next year!". Tact is defined as the ability to tell your boss to go to hell and have him looking forward to the trip.Upon sitting down a busty blond waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food. He looks up at the menu above the bar. It says Hot Dog $2, Cheeseburger $5, and Handjob $10.A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, “Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!”. The woman says, “Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!”. A husband is supposed to make his wife’s panties wet, not her eyes.Dec 7, 2022 · 6. You're gorgeous, but that smile is the most radiant by far. Complimenting his looks through a flirty text message is another great innocent option that will put a smile on his face. Even guys fall prey to cliché compliments on their physical attributes because it doesn't make it any less sweet or true.If you have known your boyfriend for some time now, maybe 2 years or more? You can send more risky texts such as sexy/dirty ones to make him laugh: 38. Get some ice on your way, it is gonna be a Hot & Long Night my friend! 39. I called the ambulance, I can’t breathe since our last kiss. 40. Is your body a Wonderland, cuz I would like to ...69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell. - 23 Mar 2022. Sense of Humor. Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults.A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks, "Dry?". The German replies, "Nein, just one.". Explanation: "Drei"—pronounced "dry"—is German for "three ...Here are 80 jokes to make someone laugh over text: 1. There was a big camel and a small camel. The small camel asked the big camel, “What did you eat to become this big?” the big camel replied …A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him. “Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there ...But, I am slowly getting over it. ALSO READ: 40 Funny Dark Humor Jokes For Those Who Enjoy Twisted Laughs. Rest in peace to boiling water. You will be mist. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work. Him: “I was a fool when I married you.”. Her: “I know, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”.Knock-knock jokes can be a little annoying for adults, but they're great to tell kids. If you're looking for very funny jokes to share with your kids to strengthen your bond and make them laugh, then the following 9 jokes are perfect. 1. Knock knock - Who's there - Annie - Annie who?Here we go for the seedy, uncouth, unscrupulous and unabashed humor waiting to be enjoyed. You can use the links below to jump to the type of jokes you …He had no body to go with him. 30. What does the cobbler say when a cat wanders into his shop? Shoe! 31. Why was the poor guy selling yeast? To raise some dough. 32. What’s a firefly’s favorite game? Hide-and-glow-seek. 33. Who does a pharaoh talk to when he’s sad? His mummy, of course. 34. What do you call a pooch living in …Are you in need of a good laugh? Look no further. We’ve compiled a list of the funniest jokes of the day that are guaranteed to crack up your friends. Have you ever wondered what m...This is why some guys get a reputation for being lazy! 7. My dad only knows masturbation jokes. He says they always cum in handy. That sounds like a sticky situation! 8. If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.A study of Batek hunter-gatherers from Malaysia shows how laughter can shape our ethical values. For the Batek people of the Malaysian peninsula rainforest, laughter can be dangero...Remind him of your attraction and desire with a playful text. Send him a wink emoji, compliment his appearance, or tease him about how much you miss him. A little flirting can keep the spark alive and add some excitement to your relationship. 4. Make him laugh. You should also consider sending him a funny meme or joke that’s relevant to his ...18. My boyfriend must be a magician, every time he looks at me my clothes disappear. 19. Something is wrong with my knees, every time I am with you; I fall for you all over again. 20. I am an organ donor for sure; I gave my heart to you 2 years ago. Flirty jokes for boyfriend. 21.Jul 14, 2023 · By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. –. Girlfriend: I dreamed I saw you in a jewelry store and you were buying me a diamond ring. Boyfriend: I had the same dream, and I saw your dad paying the bill.In the fast-paced world of social media, humor has taken on a whole new meaning. With platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, funny jokes have become a staple of online cu...I’m like a Rubik’s cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get, baby. Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart. I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. e in love at first sight or should I pass by again. I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.These hilarious Mexican jokes will keep you entertained with their outrageous punchlines and side-splitting humor. Reading in Mexico is not very interesting because there are no books. Only Manuels. Two Mexicans are talking while waiting for the bus. The bus arrives so one says to the other "we should TACOn the bus.".Best One Liner Dirty Jokes. We sincerely hope you’ve enjoyed our picks of dirty jokes so far! Let’s continue the list going with the best dirty jokes! Dirty jokes. 46. Please tell your tits to stop looking at my eyes. 47. Life is like a penis. Women make it hard for no reason. 48. Having sex in an elevator is wrong, on so many levels. 49.There are plenty of alternatives to telling dirty dad jokes. Here are a few ideas: Play a family-friendly game of charades or Pictionary. Put on a family movie night and make popcorn together. Have a dance party in the living room. Make homemade pizzas and have a pizza night.Not Happy. 2. A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says, "I believe that I am a type o.". 3. You know, there's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. 4. I'll never forget my dad's face when I gave him his 50th birthday card, tears in his eyes, as he said to me, 'One ...Feb 6, 2024 · Because Yoda only one for me! My boyfriend accidentally poked me in the eyes. So, I stopped seeing him for a while. Call me Shrek…. Because I’m head ogre heels for you! My boyfriend knows how understanding I am. That’s why he always calls me Miss Understanding. If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard!Upon sitting down a busty blond waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food. He looks up at the menu above the bar. It says Hot Dog $2, Cheeseburger $5, and Handjob $10.Upon sitting down a busty blond waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food. He looks up at the menu above the bar. It says Hot Dog $2, Cheeseburger $5, and Handjob $10.Here are 80 jokes to make someone laugh over text: 1. There was a big camel and a small camel. The small camel asked the big camel, “What did you eat to become this big?” the big camel replied “Mhmm”. 2. There were two cats, one gray and one brown. The gray told the brown “Meow”. The brown one replied “Meow Meow”.Pick up line jokes: - "Is your name highway? Because I want to ride you all night long.". - "Let's play Titanic, you'll be the iceberg and I'll go down.". - "How much did you pay for those pants? Because you can get them 100% off at my place.". - "Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.".7. “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.”. 8. “Two snails are chatting on the sidewalk. ‘I’ll have to cross the road,’ says one. ‘Well, be careful,’ says the other one, ‘there’s a bus coming in an hour.’”. 9. “Two men meet on opposite sides of a river.Remind him of your attraction and desire with a playful text. Send him a wink emoji, compliment his appearance, or tease him about how much you miss him. A little flirting can keep the spark alive and add some excitement to your relationship. 4. Make him laugh. You should also consider sending him a funny meme or joke that’s relevant to his ...Recommended: Birthday Knock Knock Jokes. “What do you want for your birthday?” asked the girlfriend. “Anal sex,” he replied. “Haahahaha, nice try. Tell me something I can buy.”. “Ok, anal sex with a prostitute.”. A mother sends her little son out to get some edible silver balls for the top of a birthday cake.Compliment his appearance, tell him that he's on your mind, or invite him to hang out—making him feel desired is guaranteed to get him hot and bothered! You make me feel so hot. You. Me. Dinner. Let's go. Your body is a work of art. Woke up thinking about you. I can't get you out of my head. Put me on your "to-do list" 😉.Are you in need of a good laugh? Look no further. In this article, we’ve compiled a list of the funniest jokes of the day to brighten up your mood. Whether you’re in need of a pick...They're hard to get started, emit foul odors and don't work half the time. Her: "Honey, I don't like you with the new glasses on.". Him: "But sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses.". Her: "True but I do.". My wife told me to go and get something that would make her look attractive. So I got drunk.Are you looking for a cute way to make your boyfriend laugh? If you’re texting or chatting in person, a silly joke is the perfect thing to make him giggle and brighten his mood. Whether he likes corny dad …Apr 30, 2023 · But the key to finding the best questions to ask a guy is to consider the tone of the conversation. For example, there is no point in asking a random question when you are in the middle of a debate about politics. 2. It's all about the setting. via: Unsplash / Mike Erskine.You just left, and I already miss you! First song on the radio, and it reminds me of you. I got you a one-way ticket…to my heart. You mentioned you like bed and breakfasts. I’ll bring the bed ...How do you make your girlfriend scream during s*x? “Call and tell her about it.”. What do you call a guy with a small p*nis? “Just-in.”. What is six inches long, two inches wide, and makes everyone go crazy? “A $100 bill.”. How do you spot a blind man on a n*de beach? “It’s not hard.”. Do you know bees that make milk?75 Michael Jackson Jokes To Make You Laugh. Michael Jackson was a pop music legend, famous for his voice and incredible dance moves like the moonwalk. His songs like “Beat It” and “Billie Jean” are classics, and his influence on music and fashion is huge. Jackson’s life was full of big moments, both amazing and controversial.How do you make your girlfriend scream during s*x? “Call and tell her about it.”. What do you call a guy with a small p*nis? “Just-in.”. What is six inches long, two inches wide, and makes everyone go crazy? “A $100 bill.”. How do you spot a blind man on a n*de beach? “It’s not hard.”. Do you know bees that make milk?Aug 22, 2023 · 1. Boyfriends are like sporks. They can do more than one thing, badly. 2. Moses was said to lead his people through the desert for 40 years, over 1,000 years B.C. That’s how long men have avoided asking for directions. 3.The first one says, “I’ll have a pint of blood.”. The second one says, “I’ll have one, too.”. The third one says, “I’ll have a pint of plasma.”. The bartender says, “So, that’ll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?”. 4. How many other jokes can one make off ‘Man walks into a bar?’? A man walks into a bar and orders a beer.Apr 8, 2024 · 4. “I’m definitely not flirting with you. I’m just being very nice to someone very attractive.”. Download Article. Tease him to add a flirty edge to the conversation. Use gentle sarcasm to let him know you’ve got a playful sense of humor and can keep him on his toes.Happy Friday! Happy Friday! What if everything is meaningless? I’m not joking, and neither were my colleagues Ephrat Livni and Olivia Goldhill when they tackled this question in th...Bad pick up lines for him. Excuse me, I don’t mean to intrude, but you owe me a drink (pause), because when I saw you, I dropped mine. I’d love to be the devil on your shoulder and the devil on your lips. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.55. Life is about balance. 50% namaste. 50% fuck off. Well, funny people, we hope you enjoyed our collection of 55 inappropriate one-liners that had you laughing until your sides hurt. Before we wrap things up, we want to remind you that if you enjoyed these inappropriate one-liner jokes, you're going to love our range of WTF Notebooks!The Best Hunting Jokes To Make You Laugh. If you are sensitive to hunting jokes or humor leave this site NOW! Contains a mix of deer hunting jokes, bear hunting jokes, Canadian and Redneck jokes, and of course wife and mother in law jokes for your enjoyment. 1. Skin That Bear. Two men went bear hunting.And that was cos I'd no small change for the window cleaner.". - Victoria Wood. "Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, 'Yes, who did you ...Funny love jokes to tell your boyfriend/girlfriend or wife/husband can bring you closer in a romantic situation. Let bring some humor in your romantic life with laugh. These short love jokes or flirty knock-knock jokes can break the ice and melt the coolest of hearts. Hilarious, romantic jokes and one liners bring laughs and love.Spitting, swallowing and gargling. A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, “Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?”. The boyfriend says, “Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again.”. A naked man broke into a church.Birthdays are milestones worth celebrating, and adding humor to the mix can make them even more enjoyable, especially for the older folks in our lives. These birthday jokes are a fantastic way to bring laughter and joy to the party, making the celebration truly unforgettable. So, go ahead, share these jokes with the old man in your life, and ...Mar 23, 2022 · 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell. - 23 Mar 2022. Sense of Humor. Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults.They’re hard to get started, emit foul odors and don’t work half the time. Her: “Honey, I don’t like you with the new glasses on.”. Him: “But sweetheart, I don’t wear any glasses.”. Her: “True but I do.”. My wife told me to go and get something that would make her look attractive. So I got drunk.The woman burst out laughing, and Jack felt a rush of confidence. He continued to use his arsenal of pick up lines dirty, and the woman was loving it. They chatted for a while and exchanged numbers. From that day on, Jack was hooked. He found himself constantly searching for more dirty pick up lines for girls, always trying to up his game.Spitting, swallowing and gargling. A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?". The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again.". A naked man broke into a church.Take your conversation to the next level when you ask him one of these 200 funny questions to ask a guy. Make him laugh and see if the sparks fly. Below you'll find questions that are fun, cool, interesting, random, funny yet deep and flirty. There are also questions that you can text a guy, ask him in person or online.Apr 15, 2024 · 9. You be the peanut butter, I’ll be the jelly, and let’s make a sandwich. 10. I’m hung up on you. 11. My jaw is tired from all the smiling I’ve been doing thinking about you.😉. 12. I’m a coffeeholic and I need you more than I need coffee this morning. 13.These collections of the best dirty jokes are strictly for adults only! If you’re dirty minded and like a bit of rude and risque humor and innuendo , then these jokes will be right up your alley! Enjoy them!In a text message or online, the abbreviation “LMAO” stands for “laughing my ass off.” It is generally used in response to a joke or a situation that is found to be particularly hu...Mountain Lake in Virginia is best known for its role in 'Dirty Dancing.' But today the lake is all but dried up. HowStuffWorks wants to know why. Advertisement If you've never hear...Feb 4, 2024 · 1. “Why do bees hum? They can’t remember the lyrics.”[3] 2. “What does a spy do when they get cold? They go undercover.” 3. “Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.” 4. “What do you call a pony with a cough? A little hoarse.” 5. “What do you call 2 birds in love? Tweet-hearts.” 6. “Why is a boat a good place for a first date?If you’re lost with what love jokes to tell her, then we’ve got you covered! Find your favorite romantic joke for girlfriend! Woman: “In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring.”. Man: “I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill.”. I’m lost.February 9, 2024. 7:35 pm. 101 Best Dirty Jokes: Not for the Faint of Heart (2024) millionjokes. share. Get ready for a laugh with our collection of the best dirty jokes …It turns out there really is a secret to a happy relationship. According to a 2016 study out of the University of Kansas, couples who share a sense of humor—meaning, they find the same things funny—are more likely to stay together. If you make him or her laugh, and vice-versa, it's a good bet you're soul mates.10. “If you and I were socks, we for sure would make a great pair.”. 11. “Hold up, the police are here, I need to check you out!”. 12. “Honestly, if you were words on a page, you’d be the fine print.”. 13.Making him laugh in a meeting or during a family dinner has its pros and cons. Some messages could cool his head, make him the happiest in the world at that moment, and boost his confidence! Sometimes, all they need is to know how much we love them with simple romantic things to say to your boyfriend in a text.1. Your butt is nice but it would be nice if it was on my lap. 2. If anyone asks me" What is hell" I would answer "Distance between two people who love each other". 3. I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small. 4. I wanted to send you something sexy but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox. 5.Asking your boyfriend romantic questions is a delightful way to deepen your connection, showcase your affection, and make him blush with sweetness. Here are some ideas to get you started: Heartfelt Questions: “What’s the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?”.104 Cute, Smooth, Funny, And Flirty Pick-Up Lines For Him. Smooth and flirty, his heart just won't be able to resist after you floor him with these lines. Reviewed by Roma Williams, LMFT. Written by Sneha Tete, Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach. Edited by Shatabdi Bhattacharya, BSc • May 16, 2024.Here are funny love quotes to make him laugh: No man is complete until he gets married, then he is finished. Apart from my cup of coffee, you are my favourite. You stare at me the same way I do at my chocolate cake. There is nothing wrong with admitting that I am the best thing that ever happened to you.In the world of humor, there's a special corner reserved for the naughty and the risqué, a place where dirty jokes and memes reign supreme. These cheeky quips and playful images have become a staple in adult humor, offering a spicy twist to everyday jokes. They're the kind of jokes that make you glance over your shoulder before sharing …